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| { "title": "What We Pursue Is Just the Imagination of the Past", "content": "After watching Discovery's discussion about the destruction of the Earth, I feel that humans are really insignificant and trivial. Fatal unpredictable bacteria, the technology we are proud of, nuclear weapons used for deterrence, super-intelligent aliens, dormant super volcanoes, and the extremely mysterious black holes—everything makes humans seem too small. So small that one moment we are fighting with each other, and the next moment we are wiped out without a trace. I saw someone's signature: 'Without thinking, there is no faith.' I have always wondered why I feel so empty, so hollow. Standing at a higher place allows one to see further, but why do famous quotes always rise to such a complex yet simple height, making it impossible for later generations to understand at a glance? We only realize the value of something after losing it. We all live in the past, and when we hesitate, we lose the future. Maybe a moment ago you were still thinking about how good he or she was, maybe he or she was once so perfect in your heart, maybe you were lucky enough to be favored by the goddess and got what you wanted, only to find that it was still just a gorgeous dream. We are all growing up, and what we think today might seem ridiculous in a few days or a year. A single leaf blocks the view of Mount Tai. Love is just an overestimation of the other person. Today, after reading about Deng Xiaoping, I gained a new understanding. Not everyone can stand at a high place to see the big picture, not everyone has the courage to make bold decisions, and not everyone can grasp the essence without worrying about the details. The abilities I once had are now gone. Although high school was tough, it is worth remembering. Back then, I had so many ideas and so much drive, and I could pursue my interests. Although I often did things that might not have been beneficial for my future, I was happy. Back then, I could laugh and joke with my lovely teachers and occasionally rebel without causing any harm. Refusing to conform is hard, and the cost of conforming is numbness, reality, and no longer being moved. Although we might appear successful on the surface, we are actually like walking corpses, without souls or thoughts. This is the price. The flashy world is not what I desire, yet I inevitably fall into it. When it comes to love, at my age, the first things I consider are the other person's career, common interests, and family background. These are unavoidable realities, but they are also the most practical. Maybe this is the right path. When it comes to career, interest is just a beautiful imagination of the past. We need bread and survival. When it comes to TV, I don't watch much. What I appreciate the most is Discovery's Animal Planet and the Discovery Channel. I can't find anything else worth watching. In fact, what we need is to seek the essence within ourselves. The TV shows that exist today might have their reasons, but to me, they are like many online games. Watching too much will make you stupid and decadent. We are all just passers-by, puppets being manipulated by others. When it comes to games, it's also my pain because I have spent a lot of time on them. The games I have always played are StarCraft and CS, and I still occasionally play StarCraft. They are both real-time strategy games. A classmate actually bought Blizzard's original CD and engraved 'My life for Aiur' on his Touch. That's really hardcore. I still admire this guy—he is steady, a family man, and a warm harbor for many girls at any time. I can't do that. I am lazy, lack perseverance, and often fail to do what I plan. I like to escape from reality and responsibility. I don't even know where I am going with this. I need to stand at a higher place to see the problem. Most of the time, I am too confused and don't even know what I am doing. This is a terrible state. I shouldn't care too much about others' opinions. I am too easily influenced by others and need to have my own thoughts. I need to know what I want, what I should do, what I shouldn't do, and who is the role model in my mind. When it comes to planning and management, it's simple. I remember in high school, it was just Chinese, math, English, physics, and chemistry. I picked the main subjects and completed them easily. Everything was simple. Now it's actually the same, but I can't calm down to do something real, and I use the excuse of having no interest. I shouldn't escape from reality. Since it has already happened, why live in the past? It's better to face it properly. Keep a clear mind. Don't fantasize. When people fantasize, they easily become decadent, distracted, and settle for less. What needs to be faced should be faced actively and not escaped. The final result of escaping is continued sorrow and continued escape. Don't be sentimental, don't seek sympathy, don't rely on others, don't have a侥幸心理. Everything depends on yourself. What I need to do next is to follow the above and try to enrich myself, live a regular life, and wish myself to find true love. When it comes to星座, I have read too much and downloaded several guides. It's time to delete them. Although some of them are accurate, that's not what I want.星座 is ultimately a general explanation for humans to explore themselves, not for individuals. We are all unique individuals with our own unique childhoods and family backgrounds.星座 probably can't be applied to these specific situations. I've said a few more unnecessary words. It's time to sleep and eat an apple." }
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